I woke up one morning and looked at the time, it was 3PM so went back to sleep. While I was asleep I began to dream, I was on my way home from somewhere, walking. The next thing I know Michael Jackson is heading towards me looking very angry with two or three bitches flanking him. Why they look so angry? I thought. 

Next thing I know Michael is all in my face, telling me how he loves me and he wants me to come to his birthday party. I get this kind of thing all the time these days so just thought umm nah I'm on my way somewhere already, if they would kindly excuse me. 

Michael and his arseholes must of taken massive offence, Michael went into labour right there on the spot and gave birth to blue child. I was embarrassed really, Madam and his sphincter fuckers stormed off down the road. This happened in a very public place but no one looked bothered to try and help me. So I went to Burger King to see if I could get some pussy and clean the blood off my face. 

Next I had to wait for a bus in a very long queue and as I remember it was late so yeah, I'm a massive fan of him now I wish him every success. 

Points To Consider:

• If you know what I'm talking about or even better know Michael, please feel free to strip him naked and tie him to a fence.  

• I would like to point out that I had not had anything to do with Michael Jackson or his B'stards before this, I didn't even know their names. 

•  Why am I wasting my time thinking about this arsehole?

• When I get my hands on those little bastard cnuts, they need their wings cutting off too and I've the scissors to do it. They won't get away with this goddamnit. 

• A long time ago yes but that does not matter. 

Thanx. Bitch...